Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Confidence - you have it or you don't?

For some people, it is really tough standing up in front of a crowd to introduce yourself. I know the feeling myself. The butterflies flying wildly, like a stirred up hornet nest.

Worse of all is when you REALLY have to say something and then, all that comes out is stuttering and a, for you, embarrassing mumble, incoherent and rambling.

Know the feeling?

Tough, especially, when you are a small business owner, who wants to grow the business. The one I met this morning didn't say anything, didn't have to get up. But I, and others, could see the working inside of him.

What holds you back? I don't know, but I can relate to the situation.

I had it once, in a conference, a long time back in Singapore. I started to speak, and, while I was somewhat prepared, I realised, after about 3 slides, heck, this is going wrong - the moment the thought was in my mind, I froze. I looked at the audience. A second went by, and then a second. I took a deep breath, opened my mouth and said - "this is going wrong, you are totally not with me, and I am losing myself. Let me go back and start again."

I did, and I performed magically. Well, at least not that bad.

Wow, it was something that I still think about, but I learnt the lessons and realised that, what I need to have is VERY good knowledge about the topic that I am talking about. Next, I need to have the confidence to present what I prepared. And then, a great attitude of what I can do.

At that time, I didn't know NLP or didn't relate to anything mind-related. Nowadays, I do know that I do have a space on my own, and I carry my circle of excellence with me.

But that is me and how I manage myself, now.

Back to this morning. I simply wonder if the guy realises that as a business man, probably successful, he has already developed something that is applicable to the rest of his life. This man build up a business, which is not easy, I tell you. He must have had the confidence to start it up and follow through. He must have believed in himself that he can manage that.

There is an easy application in NLP, called contrastive analysis, to find out, what got him started in his business life and the respective drivers or triggers, vis-a-vis what is holding him back. In a further step, the triggers that got him started will then be "transplanted" to overlap and eliminate those that hold him back - a change should start to happen then already. Okay, this is NLP 1-1 and there might be more in the person that needs to be cleared up, and there are plenty of other possibilities and ways to get him over that state, but it is a start.

But I believe that there are many out there who lack confidence and are plagued by anxiety. Not nice, is it?

(NLP in Asia)
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