Life and Executive Coaching with NLP: April 2007

Oh man, poor China. Oh, oh - "Stress in China's cities is taking a toll on residents' sex lives, with 30 percent of middle-aged couples having no intimate relations.

Thirty percent of middle-aged couples have given up on sex altogether as a result of physical or psychological problems related to stress. One quarter of couples aged under 30 reported similar problems. The survey also found 45 percent of men in relationships suffered from erectile dysfunction."

What stress to read such news. The good part is that this is reducing the pressure on overburdened city infrastructures, since it longter reduces the number of city dwellers - no, sorry, I am kidding.

I don't know what causes the stress, but I can imagine that it is long working hours combined with traffic jams and long commuting time.- Hey, who is in the mood for sex after 12 or 13 hours of work combined with may be 2 hours of heavy traffic? Then, of course, it is the overall work pressure as well - heck, China's economy is growing hugely each year, and somehow, not all can be attributed to foreign direct investment or IT. Somehow, business is good for individual companies which grow - but then, to stretch this a bit further, employers don't find enough people or great talents - which subsequently leads to more work for the individual. Do you see the circle?

There cannot be enough time for sex then, mah!!! How can?

Then, of course, what is stress? Isn't it the result of an event occuring outside of us and we react to it, internally? Remember my EB/ IS equation of yesterday? Here thus is another example.

In addition, what do we do with this External Event? We frame it in our mind, after it is processed through the many filters in our mind, such as values, beliefs, memories, and so on!

Then, we react to it, internally, by forming our feelings or, as NLP calls it - the Internal Representation that is the results of an external event.

Now, imagine, despite all this what causes stress, ask yourself - how come that there are other people who don't have these problems, despite being exposed to just the same events - traffic jams, being overworked and all?

See, as such, stress is just a reaction of us internally to an external event. And since we react to it, we can actually change it.

How? Well, reframe the event, reframe the stress. Take a few deep breath, break down your tasks into manageable chunks, have a short break, do something different that you really like first, and more of this.

Or, you can take charge even more by thinking, and feeling about a time, that you had a similar challenge and enjoy the same feelings again. This can also change your overall state to the better.

When I still worked in corporate life, I created a YIPPPEE Folder. A folder with things inside that made me feel good. Like, funny videos, letters or mails of recommendation from clients and colleagues about a job well done. And so on.

Hey - watch these videos, there are tons out there, and for sure, it makes you better prepared for all the stress. And then go home (after work) and have great sex.
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