Saturday, March 11, 2006

A counsellor and the unmarried Malaysian women

I don't get it.

I am talking about the survey of yesterday's New Sunday Times that stated that 80% of the Malaysian women only want to marry after 30 years of age.

I am not here to discuss the main reasons mentioned by the women as stated in the newspaper: "A lack of sexual desire, career priorities, infertility and a search for rich husbands." This is up to them.

I cannot comprehend how licensed counsellors from Universiti Malaya can provide the following comments for the data:

- Women are not interested in marrying is because there is a lack of "men of quality" in the country. Many men now are involved in drugs and are gay or soft.

My comment: Huh? What kind of argument is that? How can someone provide counselling service with such attitude?

- Women lack sexual desire because they are very tired after work and are too preoccupied with their careers development and prefer to pursue educational. By the time they want to get married there are very few available single professional men. To help, men should be allowed to marry more than one woman.

My comment: This implies that men don't care for their career and their professional education, and thus want to get married earlier. Or, that men are faster in their development.

Both are shallow reasons - I don't agree. And to marry more than one woman doesn't sound very progressive to me. (and don't argue for it as it is based on Islamic teachings. There are very strict rules around this possibility and not many can meet these.)

- Men don't want to marry those women due to the women's demands. They don't need to get married as there are many unmarried women around who they can hook up with as it is common in urban societies for couples to practise free sex without the strictures and morality of marriage.

My comment: No comment. My goodness. Shall I pity the men?
This survey might be interesting in its finding but the reasons and solutions provided are shallow at the best.

Would I want to get counselled by someone like this? A counsellor, according to my opinion (but THAT is my opinion), needs to be free of judgements, question a lot, and don't come up with extremely generalised and bias statements.

All my opionion, of course, but it was too much for me to hold back.

(NLP in Asia)
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