It is so easy to get dragged away by bad memories. So easy to replay what didn't go well in your mind - over and over again. Saying, "I shouldn't have done this, I should have done" or, "argh, if I had only walked over to this beautiful girl there, the evening would have been much better."
It is easy to say "I am not confident", "I cannot do this", "others are so much better", "I don't deserve this" or worse "I am too stupid to do this, let others do this first."
Does this sound familiar?
I am not sure how often I have written about this already - but let me give it another try.
The question that I want to ask you is: "What holds you back?".
Damn it, it is your life? You are the actor in your life! Do you really want to be on your deathbed and, looking at your life say: "Hm, I missed out on 2,345 great chances and opportunities in my lie. I should have..."
Sure, there will be times, when things don't turn out well. The girl over there doesn't like to talk to you. Others are better than you. But so what? There are other girls, other boys, there are times you win and others where you lose.
But just make sure that you learn from your failures, because failures are only failures if you haven't learnt from them. If you keep repeating the same mistake. Otherwise, they are learning opportunities.
Sure, you can also say that it is easy to open my mouth - I am secured in my job, in my life, and have achieved a lot. Let me tell you - I am not secured in my job, I still have plenty of goals in my life build on earlier successes and failures (oops - learning opportunities), and have achieved a lot - yeah, that is right, but I worked hard for it.
Talk about my professional life. I am coaching, for sure, but I have a job in a "normal company". I have been hired to serve a client and boost the moral of a demoralised team. My client is demanding, and I am the first in a long line of team leaders to push back unreasonable demands. My client sometimes shouts at me, nags and is cynical, is angry at me at times, and it takes time for them to understand that the way I am operating is with the best of theirs in my heart. I know that there is opposition to the way I operate, but only because I am confident in my abilities, and secure in my feelings about my future am I able to keep going.
I am working at developing a second career, because I learnt through bad times that it is good to stand on two feet. I lost jobs before, in Asia and Germany, and it is not easy, and not getting easier for people like me, a Mat Salleh, to find a great job in Malaysia. What will come next, after this job? A fulltime coaching service for executives, personal life coaching, training and workshops.
What does this give me? I have earnt the right to stand up and tall and say things as I see them. As long as I have my integrity.
What does this mean to you? Think about what makes you valuable, what makes you tick. Develop your skils. Develop your network and see what makes them tick. Be informed about your industry to see changes ahead. Always be ready to jump boat and develop your own career, your own life.
Not ready yet? Hey - think what you have achieved in your life?
You went to school, you started to work, you have a great education, you have presented before, you have kids that grow up nicely, heck, there was a time you didn't know any of the things you know today. Isn't this success? Isn't this a sign that you can achieve something?
Ask yourself - when did you give up risking something?
Start taking small risks, and celebrate things that work. Move out of your comfort zone, because only if you move out, you succeed and grow.
Hah - enough said - now give it to me!!
(NLP in Asia)
nlp
neuro linguistic programming
business coaching
executive coaching
personal coaching
malaysia
hypnotherapy
hypnosis
training
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